Colourful processions liven up the streets of the Kathmandu Valley from November to March. Visitors stop to watch a band of musicians playing Nepali songs. Perhaps a dancer prances and performs with the band. A gaily decorated car and a throng of well-dressed people follow the musicians. The mood is festive, and the visitor might assume that the procession is part of a religious festival. But gods do not travel in cars-they perfer the conventional palanquin or chariot. The car is a sure sign that the happy crowd is celebrating a marriage.
If the marriage ceremony is finished, a peek into the car will reveal the bride and groom dressed in their finery. The bride wears a red weddings sari. She is adorned with jewelry, and her bowed head is covered with red cloth. The groom is finery dressed and decorated too. For both, the marks the beginning of a new life together. But it also means the culmination of that has been a fairly long process, for the coming together of bride and groom is the result of months of planning and work by the families of both parties.
Marriage among the Newaris of Nepal Is a and physical union predetermined by The Newars have developed unique p customs to formalize this life-long Which unites not only the bride and but their households as well. process frequently begins with a ,Or matchmaker, who proses the match two families. The man and woman be strangers, or they may know each Each Is asked if they like their Live spouse. If the answer is Alive the negotiations begin. The lerni meets with an astrologer who Mines the iota, or astrological charts, of prospective bride and groom. The Mons of more than one astrologer may be ht. Once the astrologers have deter-nod that the union will be a positive one, engagement and marriage dates . ha suggested. rogngement ceremonies may take place pw where from two weeks to a year before the marriage. The man's family sends Offer logs to the woman's family. Among thew me twelve large betel nuts, a symbol of engagement. The engagement takes the day of offerings are received. The bride-to-be dons a red bridal sari and ornaments. The family priest officiates, fpnimoning ancestral deities to accept the Offer logs. He reads auspicious mantras and Applies a tika to the woman's forehead. On the same evening the lami takes a portion of the tika and puts it on the groom's forehead. A week before the marriage, the man's family sends special ball-shaped sweetmeats called lakhamari to the woman's parents. A few days before the marriage the lakhamari are distributed to the relatives and a verbal invitation to the marriage festivities is issued. Four days before the marriage, maternal uncles and aunts invite the bride to a meal. Offerings are made to the god Ganesh, an oil-lamp is lit, and the bride receives a tika. Special foods, a new dress, and perhaps even jewelry are given to the bride. On the day before the wedding the head of the household under a priest's supervi-sion, worships his ancestors. The next day the celebrations begin. The bride's family invites friends and relatives to the festivities. The bride sits surrounded by well-wishers, while a friend or relative sits by her and writes down the gifts and their givers on a piece of paper as the guests arrive. A feast, often served on leaf plates, follows. While the feast is going on, the groom is busy organizing the janti . This is the procession of his friends and relatives and the musicians who will go to the bride's house to eat. The groom serves pan (a mixture of dried fruit, cashew nuts, cinnamon, and betel nut), then enters a decorated car, and the procession begins. On the way to bride's house, the musicians play a variety of songs and some of men may dance along. The guests follow the musicians and car on foot. The bride's father receives the groom, and then all join in the celebra-tion. After many hours, the groom, his guests, and the musicians head home. The actual marriage ceremony takes place the next day. Rings are exchanged, a gold chain is given to the bride, and she is given to the groom. A maternal uncle gives the bride a she-goat as dowry, and her new 1 father-in-law puts a silver bracelet on her ankles. Her uncle carries her to the car, and her father-in-law covers the car with a special silk cloth. Once more, the band leads the procession. But this time the bride is being taken to her new home.
As the procession heads off, priests from the bride's and groom's family, standing near a Ganesh temple, engage in conversation on behalf of the two families. The bride's priest explains that the woman has been brought up as a delicate flower and may not know many things about life-she is bound to make mistakes. He asks that the groom's family pardom her shortcomings. The groom's priest, in turn, assures him that the bride will be well taken care of. The conversation is a formality and can be very amusing if the priests are skillful. The groom's family receives the bride as Laxmi, the wddess of wealth. The groom's mother washes the bride's feet with liquor and throws rice in all directions to satisfy and disperse any evil spirits. A priest conducts welcome rites at the entrance to the house while women sweep and pour water on the path the bride will follow to the house. The mother-in-law leads the bride inside. The bride and groom eat from a thayabhu, a bronze plate with eight auspicious symbols. Sitting to the right of the bride, the lami introduces her to the groom's relatives. She gives betel nuts to the bride, who in turn gives them to the relatives after being introduced. The relatives then give money to the bride and return the betel nuts. After the introductions, guests arrive for a feast. When the guests have eaten and left, the groom's family conducts a well-wishing
ceremony. This the last ceremony of the day. The newlyweds visit the family god and goddess the next day. They worship and offer gifts to the deity, who is the final witness of the marriage. On the evening of the fourth day of marriage, the bride's parent, relatives, and family priest visit the groom. The priest conducts rituals, and the bride's father places a gold ring on his daughter's finger. Her family gives her presents. After eating and drinking, the bride's father invites the newlyweds to his home. At the bride's home, an introductory ceremony similar to the one at the groom's home takes place. After the introductions are finished, the children of the household tease the groom, who has brought along an escort to talk on his behalf. The bride's father gives the escort a new outfit, including a wristwatch, for his services. The couple returns home, where the lami has arranged a wedding night. The bride is taken to a specially prepared room. Her mother-in-law dedicates a small clay bowl
filled with offerings to the family dell gives a replica of this to Ajima. part goddess of children, and wishes the a happy conjugal life. A few days later the two families celebrate with a dinner at which the introduces everyone. But the lamrs j not necessarily finished, for her senri be needed in the future if any misund
standing should arise. The couple settles into their new I marriage festivities become a happy memory, and they look forward to a h future together. As they do so, they a of a unique tradition that has evolver hundreds of years, one that binds the the past while at the same time maki future together possible.
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